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Saturday, January 16, 2010

can you, will you, at least attempt, to stay now?

gosh, i have been busy this week.
every night i have been out with friends.
i feel loved.
i like that.

things are so good right now.

i am growing up.
like, almost overnight.

all these 'big kid' thoughts have hit me.
and im not scared.
im not freaking out.
my stomach is all ...butterfly-ish... but its good.
i am ready.

i have a lot of money saved up so i can move out on my own in the spring.
i changed my mind.
i want to move to haiti and help with relief efforts.
so, i stay here til june [until my kids are done with school]
i fly out june 15th. and stay for three months. i have already filled out a few applications.
from beginning to end, it will cost at least $1500. fund raising, here i come...
i want to work with kids. or not. id really like to help with rebuilding and the medical aspect of it.
and then i can come back. and nanny again. or not.
so, i will nanny during the day. and study to become a personal trainer at night.
hopefully by years end, I will be a certified personal trainer.

and i am ready to fall in love.

[and for anybody that knows me and all these big huge plans, i pinky-promise you that i am not drunk right now]

so, i thought i was meant to love a boy that i really, really hurt. and i dont think thats right. i think he was put back in my life, so i can see what i am meant to do. [and thats not him...]

more of my craziness : : :
i believe that there is one person for everyone. with that said, i believe that each person has tons [like, 10-100] of soul mates in this universe. their jobs are to come in, teach you a lesson and change your life. your job is to figure out which partner is your other-half and which people have just been placed here to teach you something incredible. so, [again- big, bold statement coming up] i am 23948029384023% positive that my potential other-half/soul mate is in my life right now. no joke...

i am almost a week behind on my ...thankful... blogging.
but gosh, i am so thankful.
for my friends. for being alive. for having money and goods that i can afford to give away. for birthday parties at swing dancing clubs. for my new yellow rain boots. for beautiful boys with tributes to their mothers on their bodies. for roommates that clean up after themselves. for having a warm bed. and huge pieces of sushi. and for my nanny parents that are so, so great to me.